looking down

For me I feel like I spend a lot of time looking down. Sometimes physically and sometimes just with my outlook on things. I spend a lot of time <just like anyone else> looking down at my phone to make sure I am not missing out on something on one of the million different social media apps I use. I appreciate modern technology a lot but the week I spend at camp every summer when they take our phones is such a blessing. No one tries to get a hold of you and you don't have to worry about checking in with anyone because they know where you are. It's a truly brilliant plan on the camps part. You spend a lot more time in the moment and I think that's why some of my favorite memories are from camp.

I am always one that has struggled with self-confidence/esteem. Whether if it's when I am getting dressed in the morning, on the beach or anytime a good portion of my stomach is exposed I can't help but staring down at it. Sometimes I wish it would just shrink itself but I know it takes a lot of hard work and dedication for this to happen. <reference to the time I dropped 30 lbs> It's times like this when I was I could see how I truly look from someone else's perspective. We all view ourselves differently than how other people are seeing us. This goes hand-and-hand with the love/hate <mainly hate> relationship with the scale hiding currently in the closet of my bathroom. It's an evil demon that should rarely be released.

Me when I get the scale out

 

Other times I forget to count my many blessings. I have a lot to be thankful for. I live a comfortable life due to my amazing parents who support me in many ways. In life it's hard to not look down on certain situations. Negativity comes easily to me. That's just the way I have always been. I think it's because I have high expectations of other people and I've learned this probably isn't the best way to go about it. People let you down. It happens. Move on and get over it people! <Tough love>

I am her <Leslie Knope// Amy Poehler>

There's so much more to be happy about then relying on someone else to fulfill you. Happiness comes from within. It's very much so an internal thing. As I get older I believe that I am slowly learning that it is waste of energy and my time to be so darn negative. There's too much beauty in every situation rather than getting yourself hung up on the one little part of it.