Man. If anything college just reminds me daily how blessed I am. Truly and utterly blessed. I don't really know how else to explain it. I live in what is basically an upscale hotel/apartment style dorm room. I get to share it with my best friend of 11 years. We are proving everyone wrong when they said "it's not good to live with your best friend...all you guys will do is fight." Nothing could be further than the truth. God blessed me with an angel as a roommate. She's preparing me for what life with a husband will look like. Compromise doesn't come easy to me & I always have to be right, but I'm working on it. She has been more than patient with dealing with me and for that I am blessed.
The first couple weeks were hard, not going to lie. I thought that as soon as I came to college that all these new friends would follow and it was going to be awesome and everything that I have ever dreamed of. Well little did I know that this is not true at all. I found myself almost feeling trapped. I never thought that being a Christian on a college campus would be SO difficult. Everyday I hear Him whisper to me "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13,14
Then He blessed me again. He's placed some great girls in my life that are seeking Him with their whole hearts. I honestly feel like I've known them my whole life. I cannot wait to see what we get into this year & many years to come. I think they feel the same way, hopefully.
-----Part two, take a break if you need it, come back soon though!
I don't try to hid the fact that I have struggles. I am a very open person when it comes to stuff like my mental health. I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety/bipolar disorder when I was a freshman in high school. I remember at first I was super confused and angry. Like why in the world did I have to take these pills to make me feel better? Why couldn't do it on my own? Right around that time YoungLife came into my life and truly began to introduce Jesus to me for the first time. I understood that he made me that way. He knew that I could handle it & good could come from my struggles.
Little did I know that 4 years later because of His faithfulness and my eventual full trust in Him that the distance between therapy sessions would increase, I would not feel anxious about being in a class of 600 students & then settling for going to a smaller school because "I don't think I can handle it." Now, because of having the Lord by my side I can walk confidently into a room knowing that no matter what happens that He is there. Holding my hand. Guiding me through the peaks and valleys. And that is why I feel blessed. I am undeserving and yet He believes in me more than I do myself sometimes. Thank you Lord. I don't sing your praise enough.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13
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