Not just another monologue

As I sit here with boxes flooded throughout my room & the rest of my house I cannot help but look back on some of the lessons I've learned while living in my childhood home. It for sure took a while to realize what the Lord was trying to teach me from these moments but it all is starting to make sense to me now. God is kind of awesome that way. He always is preparing us for something else. Usually something greater than we had in mind for ourselves. Thank you Lord for everything you have done and removed from my life that was only there to harm me.

"It's the small things in life." A phrase that is pretty familiar. I'm sure everyone has heard it at least once. If not you've probably seen it on countless refrigerator magnets or on a Pinterest board or something like that. Basically it seems super cliche and kind of ridiculous. As it could be all of those things, it can be so much more. 

Your life is made up of all these small moments and memories that combine themselves together to make up one big life. The small moments are something like going out to dinner with your family & laughing until your stomach hurts. It could even be a night you helped a friend by staying up into late in the night because they felt so alone. The moments like these are the ones that really count. It may not seem at all that way when they are happening but when your older these are the times you are going to remember the most.

When you live for the smalls things it can help you love others much more easily. You can love others like God has called us to. This is a love that comes from genuine heart. If you wanna get all technical and what not the word LOVE is used 215 times in the Old Testament & 319 times in the New Testament in the NIV translation of the Bible. So it would be safe to say that this is something that he's pretty passionate about. 

1 John 4:19- "We love because He first loved us."

1 Corinthians 13:13-  "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of all of these is love." Also this is a great credit monologue on The Office but here y'all go, its actually scripture. 

We have nothing if we do not have love. Love people greatly and see what happens. You will probably be surprised. Love them by listening, not talking, to what they have to say. People will open up with you if you let them. Everyone needs someone they can trust judgment free. You can be that person for someone. This could be your small thing. 

A love so powerful. A love so unconditional. Thank you Lord for loving us and giving us the small things. We are so far undeserving. You are faithful. 

As Always,

Alex

a letter to my high school friends

A letter to those who I went to high school with:

Dear Friends,

Hi it's me Momma ASay. Do you remember me? I think of you all the time. I want you to know that I love and miss you more than you'll ever know. I am excited to see what college has in store for you. What majors and friends and fun you all are going to have. I hope you find some great new friends that make lasting impressions on you. 

I know that you probably think that I don't want to be your friend. Or maybe you feel like I judge you. (Or you possibly feel both). This could not be further from the truth. I want more than anything to be there for you. I want be there for whatever life throws your way. I have never once had an inkling of judgment toward you. I just want you all to be happy and keep those smiles on your faces. Im just a text or phone call away.

This is a screen shot of the desktop of my laptop. I find it to be absolutely adorable. However, it means something more to me. I am very much so in a season of transition and change and that seemed to begin the day I graduated high school. If you would have asked me months ago if I would be where I am now, I would have laughed saying that's not going to happen. God definitely has His hand on me & my life. What I am going to be writing about is a tricky subject but it has been on my heart a lot lately. Maybe someone, other than myself, will get something out of this.

In high school I found myself to be surrounded constantly by the same people that I had grown up all my life with. I would like to have thought that we were pretty popular. Everyone kind of knew who my group of friends were. That was good and bad. It seemed like everyone was constantly watching you. Judgement is big in high school- obviously. I judged people so harshly and expected none in return. I am sorry for those who were affected by any criticism that came from me (or will come). 

As much as I wanted to follow the Lord wholeheartedly in high school it seemed like I was holding onto something. That group of friends. I did not want to do something different than what they were doing and risk them not being there for me in the process. I cannot put the blame on anyone but myself for this. Its not OUR relationship with God, it MY relationship. I knew that if I was going to chase after Jesus with everything I had my life would look completely different. So why was I letting myself hang on to those people who influenced me so heavily? I wish I knew. If you were to look up the definition of 'lukewarm Christian' my face would be right there next to it. I, just like everyone else in high school, fell victim to peer pressure and following the ways of the world. It was like I was trying to be in the world and follow God at the same time. You cannot do both. It's not about who you are on Sunday's or Wednesday's, it's about who you are on every other day of the week. I learned this the hard way. 

I heard an analogy once that described exactly how I was feeling. 

"If you are standing on top of the building 100 stories above someone and you are trying to pull them closer to where you are; it is going to be much easier for them to pull you down then for you to pull them up."

I constantly let myself get pulled down by the environment I surrounded myself in. I tried to put on everyone else's oxygen masks before my own. (Thank you Bridget for this saying/ you're kind of awesome).

Sometimes you just have to take a step back and take a look at the big picture. When I was trying to be more of the world, it was harder to see how harmful everything I was doing was for my spiritual health. Please friends if you are trying to follow the Lord by yourself, it is going to be harder than anything you have done. You have got to surround yourself with a community of those who are going to build you up & pour Jesus into you like no other. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be friends with everyone. God calls us to LOVE everyone just like He loves us. But to be friends with someone does not mean that you have to have the same lifestyle as them. Any relationship has to have communication and effort put in by both people. A lot of times there has to be a compromise- so don't forget that.

So, back to why BE STILL speaks to me. As I feel sometimes that I have lost everyone and only have a handful of friends my Lord calls out to me:

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

"He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'" Psalm 46:10

Thank you Lord for your Grace. You are more sufficient than 1000 friends. You sustain me and make me whole. I hope and pray one day everyone will understand Your love for them.

As Always,

Alex

we love you, 2001 Toyota Sienna

The summer of 2014 my family of four traveled to Sandestin for the first time. We hadn't taken a family vacation just the four of us in over 10 years. I think the last time we did was to Cocoa Beach when Emma was 2 therefore making me around 7. I distinctly remember being at Disney World & Emma did NOT want to ride in the stroller. So here we are walking around with a toddler that was demanding to be held and a useless rented stroller. So what did 7 year old me do? I saw an opportunity and took it. If Emma wasn't going to take advantage of the stroller I sure as heck was. It was not the best day of our lives. Taking two kids under 10 on vacation is more like work and less relaxing, hence the reason that we hadn't been in so long.

This summer was a little different then last year. My maternal Grandparents decided that they wanted to join in on the fun. I love my grandparents, a lot. I am extremely blessed to have them and I wouldn't trade the time we've spent together for anything. It's not a bad thing when I say that having them with us changed the dynamic of the trip. It was very different for me (and everyone, I think). Last year the four of us just piled in the mini-van and hit the road. This year Mom & the Grandparents had the privilege of flying. However, my Dad, Emma & I were stuck driving. It really was not a big deal at all, I'm just being dramatic. The three of us did get to listen to all of the Serial Podcast.

if you haven't listened- you're missing out/ find it on iTunes

Father-daughter time takes on a whole new meaning when you spend 13 hours in a car together with 3 sets of golf clubs and 6 peoples' luggage. I mean there's nothing that the mini-van hasn't seen. We love you, 2001 Toyota Sienna. Thank you for the many of miles. We've had our ups and downs but we can't seem to rid ourselves of you.

Sandestin always welcomes me with a warm embrace, the best burritos and some awesome memories. This year I'm thankful for the fact that I got to have a lot of one-on-one time with the Lord. I spent more time reading scripture than I ever have in my life. I've learned there is no better way to grow in your relationship with someone then spending time with them & listening to what they have to say. This holds true with the most important relationship you can have, the one with God. That's why being in the Word is so great. I spent time reading 1 Peter & James.

I also picked up some other Christian-based books that I'll probably talk about at one point or another. One of them is You're Already Amazing by Holley Gerth which my good friend Addison wrote about here. I encourage you to check it out.

Addison & me at a party

Thank you Lord for family. Thank you Lord for friends.

As always,
Alex

Here are a collection of some of my favorite captured moments.

the second time around

Life is pretty awesome. Life is pretty crazy. I find myself constantly with something going on. I cannot say that I hate it though. I love being busy & having something to do. Having recently graduating high school I am in a season of transition. I feel as if one chapter of life has come to a close and I am beginning to write the first pages of a new one. I could not be more excited for the new adventure that is college. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for me.

Summer is wrapping up and I can honestly say that it has been one of the most memorable ones I have ever had. I have had the opportunity to travel a lot more than I have in the past summers. At the end of the day I thinking I have spent a good portion of summer on the road. Not complaining in the slightest!

The first road trip left me in Virginia at Rockbridge Alum Springs- a YoungLife camp I have visited only two years before. The last time I was at Rockbridge was much different than this past trip. Being one of the 5 oldest students at camp left me feeling very sentimental. I kept thinking to myself "this is the last..." whatever it was that I was up to that day. I really do feel like there was a reason God has Lafayette return to Virginia for my final trip. I got to have the chance to get to know some awesome girls really well. Spending a week in a cabin with 17 of them, how could you not?

The first experience at Rockbridge was not one I remember too fondly. It was my second YoungLife trip. I wanted it to live up to the first time I experienced "the best week of my life" but it kept falling short. I didn't realize that camp wasn't supposed to about me this year. It was specifically aimed at the students that had not been there before. Second plus time campers are supposedly to serve wholeheartedly so those new ones can get the full experience of how life is supposed to be lived. How selfish was I? Focusing on myself when God has called me to make this their "best week of their life"?

At this time I also wasn't in a great mental state. Externally no one could really tell how unhappy I was with myself. I think looking back that summer was one of the lowest points I ever was in high school. I was overweight and let that bring me down in all aspects. This caused my anxiety to skyrocket and it just was a lose-lose situation. I am far from this now!

I have always been concerned with what other people think of me or how they view me. The older I get and the more scripture I study I realize that those Earthly things do not matter. Our Heavenly Father has made us in His perfect image. I am so worthy. I am so loved. You are so worthy. You are so loved. Everything that is of the world is telling you that you have to look a certain way/act a certain way. This is absolutely false and the day you realize that you will experience indescribable freedom. Thank you Lord. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.



Thank you for reading. See what else and where else I have been traveling this summer in my next post.

As always,
Alex